When I started this program, I assumed that the curriculum would be a standard, pre-set path for PhD students. (Not true). I assumed that we would all learn the same things. (Again, no.) And that we would all learn them at the same time. (Nuh-uh.)
In the PhD program, there are recommended classes, but there are no required classes. Freaky, huh? Well, actually not as much as one might initially think. In some European programs, many PhD students don't even have recommended classes. Essentially in the European system, one pairs up with an expert in the topic area one is interested in and then takes classes only if they are needed. Here in the states, there is more structure, but a doctoral student uses their time to take the classes that will give them the information that they need most. But that isn't as easy it might sound. How do you know what you need? Is it what you'll still need as a researcher in 10 years? What if you're wrong, can you fix it later?
For example, in nursing, I could choose to research my topic area in either a qualitative or quantitative way. The method that I use should be determined by my specific question... but I don't have that question yet! (I'm not alone in this either). The problem is that studying both methods is crazy-talk. Some people do it, but maybe not all at once and it is NOT encouraged. So I have pretty much decided that I'm going the quantitative route. I've based this decision on the specialties of my mentors, the way that I generally think, my personal views and philosophies regarding science, and some of my own learning characteristics. I have not based it on my question. I am hoping that I haven't restricted what I may do in the future. I'm already secretly planning a qualitative post-doc. (Shhhh...don't tell anyone, I'm planning my next way to go back to school. I am Hee-Larious, right?!) Anyway, this essentially means that I chose to not take the next qualitative class so that I could take an advanced nursing seminar on a topic I am incredibly interested in and another theory class.
Anyone reading may have noticed that I italicized "another." One of the most startling things that I have found out about myself during this first year is that I love theory. (And now many nurses around the world just shuddered and they don't know why....) Theory, especially nursing theory, is the thing that I loathed most about undergraduate nursing. I HATED it. This has changed. I don't know if it is taught differently in my PhD program. I don't know if now that I'm studying to do research that I suddenly understand how important it is. I don't know if I'm just a more mature person. But I like it now, even though it makes my brain hurt and I'm not necessarily good at it. I love thinking about concepts, their connections, and how they might explain why something happens.
I think that I've made decisions on classes that will lead to me learning the skills that I need. I hope that I will work in a research intensive university where I am able to learn more skills if I need them later. I hope that I get a post-doc. I love research. I love theory. I also love qualitative research and I wanted to learn EVERYTHING while I was here. In giving up the qualitative class, I'm hopeful that I'll be a better researcher in my focused area. (Cross your fingers with me!!!)
I am now, officially, a giant nerd. But, as my good friend told me today, "RN doesn't stand for registered nurse, it stands for really nerdy."
I'll close with a picture from a walk that we took over the weekend. I love this city!
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