Tomorrow I fly out to speak at a conference. I am really, really nervous. In my clinical career I rarely had a reason for public speaking and when I did it was usually with friends. Now, I am supposed to know something and present it to others. I feel both honored and inadequate. I keep wanting to call up the person who should be going, because I can not possibly be the appropriate person. But, then I remember that I've been studying one thing now for over a year, and I think, okay, I'm not an expert, but I have read a lot about this....
In other news, there are lots of exciting non-school related things happening as well. My best friend might be in labor (RIGHT NOW!!!!!) in my hometown and my sister is kicking butt in her first year of college. Both of these things are amazing in their own right, but they are also awesome reminders (and reassurances) of life outside of school. It may seem incomprehensible to me on most days, but there is a a whole world outside of this program! I keep reminding myself that I can take my time and learn everything I need to here because there will still be life when I finish school.
In specific school news, the quarter is officially half-way over. I am gearing up for first drafts of final papers. Before I can do that, though, I need one textbook on a particular theoretical perspective to arrive and I need to read it. Anymore, the assignments can not be completed with just the assigned readings. You know that whole list of "recommended" reading that are in the various syllabi we have all received in our lives? Yeah, well now, sometimes I read those. Sometimes, I read all of them. (The part that I don't really want to say out loud is that usually I enjoy reading them....)
I'm off to sleep, the super shuttle will be picking me up in the wee morning hours.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Week Three
I finally have all of my textbooks! And I am caught up in all of my classes except one! This is making me feel a lot more comfortable right now. I am still taking the heaviest course load that I've taken since I started the program, but now, I at least feel like I may be able to keep my head above water.
I think that this quarter, and year, is going to be very different. I have probably found my dissertation question and a dataset to use. This is the last year that I will have funding, and at the end of this school year, I will need to start writing my qualifying exams. This year is going to be big.
Thankfully, friends of mine brought this back for me from London:
One of the things that is going to be different is that I am going to need to start looking for funding sources. I have been keeping a list of possible grants since the middle of the last school year. I will need to start the applications in early December for many of them. Funding is really, really important for PhD students to obtain. It is not just important because it helps us do our work, but it demonstrates that we are competitive researchers and will help us get hired later as faculty. Universities expect their faculty to get grants and they hire people who have a demonstrated ability to do that.
Have a great Wednesday! I'm off to get my flu shot and then head in to class!
I think that this quarter, and year, is going to be very different. I have probably found my dissertation question and a dataset to use. This is the last year that I will have funding, and at the end of this school year, I will need to start writing my qualifying exams. This year is going to be big.
Thankfully, friends of mine brought this back for me from London:
 |
| I try to follow this advice... |
One of the things that is going to be different is that I am going to need to start looking for funding sources. I have been keeping a list of possible grants since the middle of the last school year. I will need to start the applications in early December for many of them. Funding is really, really important for PhD students to obtain. It is not just important because it helps us do our work, but it demonstrates that we are competitive researchers and will help us get hired later as faculty. Universities expect their faculty to get grants and they hire people who have a demonstrated ability to do that.
Have a great Wednesday! I'm off to get my flu shot and then head in to class!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Lillian Wald, Lavinia Lloyd Dock, Margaret Sanger and Flo!
I wanted to put a post out at the end of the first week of the first quarter of my second year, so here it is.
This quarter, I have found myself in an interesting position. I don't, at the end of the first week of a ten week quarter, actually know how many classes I am taking. Someday, when you are future faculty, please plan ahead. Do not rely on your administrative assistant, TA or RA to post your class or organize your rooms. Your students will appreciate your effort. Essentially, one of my classes was posted incorrectly, other classes planned around the incorrect one, and now there is a sort of scheduling hell occurring. I may or may not be joining a fourth class this quarter. I'll know sometime in the early part of next week.
In addition, my professors posted book lists pretty late - around four days before classes started. And the reading is not a joke. I am already behind in a serious amount of reading. I might have bitten the bullet and paid full price at the university bookstore, but it doesn't carry very many books. I know. It is ridiculous. In fact, it is so ridiculous that the university is shutting the bookstore down entirely and people are losing their jobs. I would cite mismanagement, a lack of planning, the economy or an incredible lack of retail know-how, but really I am in awe of such an incredible example of stupidity on the part of a huge institution that I can't marshal my thoughts beyond, "Um, I'm sorry, did you say you're closing the only campus bookstore? No, seriously, tell me another one."
So I find myself in this situation where my panic is increasing as I fall behind, but there isn't much I can do about it because all my materials are in transit and I'm not even entirely sure what I should be doing since I don't know my full course load.
PhD study! Thy name is flexibility and ambiguity!
One of my classes is a saving grace. I am taking a theory course that is exceptional. The readings are thought-provoking and the professor is an example of what nursing once was and needs to be again: women who were social revolutionaries. I am in love with this class. When I was in high school, I won the Margaret Sanger award for social service. I hadn't thought about that until I sat in the first lecture of this theory class and we read the quotes of the first nurses who, against a patriarchal establishment, spoke the truth even when it was against the law to protect their patients.
My research residency continues to be an amazing, intense experience. One that I both enjoy and constantly feel is an exercise in humility. In addition, I feel that the science I am able to observe and participate in is revolutionary. I am very lucky to be there.
So far, the second quarter seems to have two emerging themes: revolution and an effort to make sense of chaos.
This quarter, I have found myself in an interesting position. I don't, at the end of the first week of a ten week quarter, actually know how many classes I am taking. Someday, when you are future faculty, please plan ahead. Do not rely on your administrative assistant, TA or RA to post your class or organize your rooms. Your students will appreciate your effort. Essentially, one of my classes was posted incorrectly, other classes planned around the incorrect one, and now there is a sort of scheduling hell occurring. I may or may not be joining a fourth class this quarter. I'll know sometime in the early part of next week.
In addition, my professors posted book lists pretty late - around four days before classes started. And the reading is not a joke. I am already behind in a serious amount of reading. I might have bitten the bullet and paid full price at the university bookstore, but it doesn't carry very many books. I know. It is ridiculous. In fact, it is so ridiculous that the university is shutting the bookstore down entirely and people are losing their jobs. I would cite mismanagement, a lack of planning, the economy or an incredible lack of retail know-how, but really I am in awe of such an incredible example of stupidity on the part of a huge institution that I can't marshal my thoughts beyond, "Um, I'm sorry, did you say you're closing the only campus bookstore? No, seriously, tell me another one."
So I find myself in this situation where my panic is increasing as I fall behind, but there isn't much I can do about it because all my materials are in transit and I'm not even entirely sure what I should be doing since I don't know my full course load.
PhD study! Thy name is flexibility and ambiguity!
One of my classes is a saving grace. I am taking a theory course that is exceptional. The readings are thought-provoking and the professor is an example of what nursing once was and needs to be again: women who were social revolutionaries. I am in love with this class. When I was in high school, I won the Margaret Sanger award for social service. I hadn't thought about that until I sat in the first lecture of this theory class and we read the quotes of the first nurses who, against a patriarchal establishment, spoke the truth even when it was against the law to protect their patients.
My research residency continues to be an amazing, intense experience. One that I both enjoy and constantly feel is an exercise in humility. In addition, I feel that the science I am able to observe and participate in is revolutionary. I am very lucky to be there.
So far, the second quarter seems to have two emerging themes: revolution and an effort to make sense of chaos.
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