The cracks are starting to show...

Last week was an interesting week. I have been aware of my own stress, but I believed that I was handling it well. Until I wasn't. And it really wasn't just me. If a group's behavior could be seen as a type of morale-barometer, I'd say we were reading at an all-time low. I'm not really sure what all the contributing factors are for this, but I know that we don't have lunch breaks anymore on the days we're having classes, some of the required readings are less than clear, and it just is starting to seem like we've been sprinting a race that was really more of a marathon.

I think that we are all going to be pretty happy for a break at the end of this quarter. But that is a long way away. It is two difficult mid-terms, at least one presentation, another conference, and four final papers from now. Yikes.

So today, after I tried to get some things done this morning and only succeeding in messing up my desk and my equanimity, I've decided to just stop for one day. I'm going to eat dinner with some friends, and try to use this day to fortify my resolve so that I can start fresh on Monday.

Does anyone else remember Carmen Sandiego?

I made the picture giant to give you a better chance of guessing the city from the skyline, but I still think that it's too far away...

I am back from my conference! It was a lovely experience. There was a general call  for presenters next year, and I am already trying to figure out a way to be one of those presenters in 2012! I also met a woman who recently completely her PhD and was a presenter. It was encouraging to meet a nurse who has finished. Also, I really enjoyed being back in my favorite city in the whole world! (That paragraph got a little crazy with the exclamation points, right? Well, that is the way of conferences: they raise enthusiasm.)

I spent the last week catching up. Before this I hadn't realized just how much time I spend on the weekends, even when my husband is here, doing schoolwork and organizing for the week ahead.

If I had to make an educated guess, I would say that I spend an average of 60 hours a week on this program. Remember when I talked about a need to build endurance? Well that was one of the reasons. I work on schoolwork every weekday and, unless I make a conscience effort to stop, most weekends. As the quarter progresses, the amount of time spent working increases. Over the quarter, I'd say the average is about 60 hours. Considering that we are in class only two days a week, most of that time is self-directed, in an attempt to make progress on class goals and also to keep reading in my topic area.

I am already a little nervous about next year! I really need to get my research residencies set up. They have to be done before you can take qualifying exams. And I would  like to write my qualifying exams in the summer of 2012. That means that next school year, in addition to my classes, I need to be doing research residencies.... My university believes that the nursing PhD should take an average of four years. My own goal is to finish in five years. I want to walk away really prepared, having absorbed as much knowledge as I can. Based on that timeline, I should be, by the end of this quarter, 20% done.... But I don't feel like I'm that far along. Maybe it's an exponential thing....or a logarithmic thing...? Sort of like cat-years, or earthquake scales, or.....?

Anyway, before I scamper off to work on week four, I'll leave you with two more pictures:

Any guesses on where my conference was held?

Third Quarter Update

I wanted to post a quick update on the quarter. I'm leaving tomorrow for a conference, so this should be a very short post.

First, I can already tell that this quarter is going to be the most challenging yet. Statistics, my favorite class from last quarter, used steroids over the break and is now much larger, harder and faster - sort of like Barry Bonds... Between reading the chapters multiple times and my incredible stats teacher, I should be okay. But, it isn't the cakewalk that it was last quarter. On a positive statistics note, though, I think that the content will be much more useful for real-world human science research questions.

I haven't come to any hard conclusions about my measurement theory class. The first lecture seemed clear enough, and I was sort of confused by the TA's strong insistence that we would want to come to her special study groups. Then I read the five assigned chapters, and realized that I had no idea how complicated the theories behind measuring bio-psycho-social concepts are. My mistake! I'm hoping to re-read the five chapters prior to the exam (or maybe every week, I'll just read the whole text again in the hope that something clicks), because one read-through didn't give me much but a serious headache. Why didn't I change my major from nursing to a bench-science, again? Oh yeah, I like people. Well most people, I'm not feeling particularly warm and fuzzy towards the authors of the measurement theory text.

My other theory class is a trip. Both stats and measurement theory will be hard, but with thorough reading and lots of hard work, they are do-able. The adult nursing theory course is a course for the thinking nurse. Those are the ones that require me to stretch...

Finally, my advanced nursing seminar, "Violence and Health," is amazing. Right now, it is the whole reason that I'm in school. There are only two of us from my cohort, everyone else is much farther along in the program, so it is a little intimidating at times, but it is so interesting! I absolutely live for this class!

Tomorrow I leave for a conference in my favorite city (besides this one) in the whole world! (And while I haven't seen every city in the whole world, I do think that I've viewed a representative sample and can make that statement with a statistically calculable amount of confidence....hahaha!) Maybe I'll post a picture from the city and let you guys guess where it was, what do you think?

I'll close with a picture from a walk that my husband and I took a couple of weeks ago: