Beat Down

So. I am exhausted. I could read everyday, all day, and still be behind. I am in the middle of what might be called mid-terms, or what might also be called an outer circle of paper-writing hell. In the last few weeks, I have actually noticed my vision getting worse. I think that it is from all of the reading. This is the less fun part of the program.

I am still staying afloat, even in this sea of never-ending papers, but I'm concerned about not doing well. (I almost made a very bad joke about regression towards the mean, or as we just learned it is also called, regression towards mediocrity. Aren't you glad I stopped myself?) I'm worried that in this paper-flurry from you-know-where, that I am not writing my best or truly learning as much as I could in the process.


To counter this potential negative effect, I have a new plan. First, I am going to continue to do what I have been doing well. It works for me to start papers early and spend the days before they are due tweaking them. I like to have that window and time to make them better. Secondly, I will not eat junk food. I am up late tonight because I have a stomachache from cookies. Not sleeping due to intestinal pain does not help my productivity. Thirdly, I am going to get control of my time again. That means that I will, no matter what, fit in exercise and breaks. I am willing to sacrifice my vision to this program, but not my sanity. Also, when things are stressful, not exercising, crappy sleep hygiene, and eating poorly only make it much, much worse for me.

I know that this is a transition. I've been out of school, practicing nursing, and this is the first batch of papers and assignments that are due. This if the painful part of acculturating to this new way of thinking and performing.

It will be fine. I can do this.