As I write this today, I'm not actually through the quarter. My grant is due on Monday. My qualifying exam is next Wednesday. In a worst case scenario, I could fail my qualifying exam and have to do it again. I still have lots of preparation for the exam and while the grant is completely drafted, there are a few sections that aren't finalized. But, even with those terrible realities, I am (at least today) kind of amazed at what I have gotten done in the last ten weeks.
Over the last ten weeks, I draft, edited, and finalized three qualifying papers. In total they are over 140 pages of thought. Are these the papers that I started out planning to write? No. But, they taught me a lot and helped me organize my thinking about my topic. I think that they form a foundation for my continued thinking and research on my topic. These papers, in this form, will not likely actually appear in my dissertation. However, I think that these papers will form the skeleton of a chapter or two.
I have also edited and re-written my NIH grant for resubmission. This grant is a bit of a beast, and I basically started from scratch with it. Who knows if I'll even get scored? I'm hopeful, and I think that it is a better grant than the one I submitted previously, but this process is a bit like trying to hit a target that is placed after you shoot and is moving the whole time. Whether I'm funded or not, I think the process of writing this grant will help me write my proposal next quarter.
In addition to those larger accomplishments, I found a new advisor and started building a relationship with that person, ran a marathon, edited and submitted a paper for publication, co-authored another data-based publication with my research residency team, subbed in a class for my current advisor, presented at a national conference, and kept both of my jobs. I am proud of how much I've gotten done this quarter, but I don't want another quarter like this again for a while!
To keep myself going for the next eight days, I've been keeping a list in my head of the things that I want to do starting next Thursday. As this last week feels like a final push (and I am a bit tired), I thought that I would put this list on the blog!
- Read some of the (non-school related) books stacked up next to my bed! (I swear there are thirty books there...)
- Holiday shop
- Watch holiday movies
- Bake cookies!
- Clean my cabinets - seriously, things just fall out when I open them right now
- Practice my guitar a lot
- Skype with my sister
- Jog every day
- Take a rowing class
- Go to the city museums
- Spend at least two days wandering around my adopted city like a tourist
I am so looking forward to doing these things, I just have to push through next Wednesday! Wish me luck!!!
Hello, I wish you the best as you complete the next few weeks.
ReplyDeleteMy program is going well. The last couple of weeks have been overwhelming. I'm contemplating whether I'm cut out fot this whole PhD thing. But thankfully conversation with one of my professors made me feel a bit better. I just want to know that research can be exciting, and is not all about writing papers and fighting for a grant.
Best,
Nursing buddy from PA
Hi Nursing Buddy from PA,
ReplyDeleteEvery end-of-quarter I seriously question whether I'm cut out for this. And almost everyone else in my program does too. This is hard. And not always fun.
I think that research can be exciting. But, I hope nobody told you that it always is exciting. Because that would be lying. A lot.
A lot of the time this feels like a huge slog and the only thing that keeps any of us here is the honest belief that we're doing something important.
Hang in there. Keep talking to the profs that are helpful and motivated. I hope that you have support in other students. You can always vent here. I hope that you get a good break over the holiday. Rest as hard as you can!!!
Thank you! I felt better over the last couple of weeks. I was also upset because my mentor wrote in an email, that I was not advised to go away during my grant application process. I didn't expect that! But later I thought about more, and just attributed it to stress that everyone is feeling. I still managed to get away to Vegas for 6 days. :) I hope you have a restful break as well.
ReplyDeleteNursing buddy from PA